I was talking to my sister the other day and the subject of God came up. She mentioned a friend who had recently said she has given up on God. Personally, I have never given up on God. If things happen in my life that are upsetting or unexpected I assume I’m just not getting God’s message. Granted, my perceptions of God have changed and developed over my 73 years.

In my early years, I was raised Roman Catholic. My mother was from Ireland and never missed Mass on Sunday. When I was a child the Catholic Mass was still primarily in Latin. By the time I attended religious education classes at the nearby Catholic school it had changed to English. I would often question things we were taught. The poor nuns who instructed us were no doubt frustrated with me. Still, I made my “First Holy Communion” and my Confirmation at the same church where I was baptized.

By the time I was thirteen I was exploring other religions. My mother had no clue, despite finding library books on Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, and various Christian groups. But, I never gave up on God. Although I found a lot of good things I could relate to in other religions, if God wasn’t a part of the belief system I moved on.

I was married at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. Two of my children were baptized there. My youngest daughter was baptized at a church on Long Island. I hadn’t been to church in years; not since my divorce. I had to reach out to a friend to find a priest who could perform the rite. I moved from NYC to E. Tennessee when my youngest was two years old. He was baptized in the Episcopal church. We attended services there for a few years. But, I was still unsettled.

In 2002 I remarried. My husband was a non-practicing Jew. After coaxing him to attend services at the Temple, he and I attended Judaism education classes. I made the decision to convert when I found Judaism fulfilled my spiritual needs. Meanwhile, my oldest daughter remains Catholic, my oldest and youngest sons are non-denominational Christians, and my youngest daughter doesn’t follow any religion.

So, where does all this connect? Throughout all my religious explorations I never gave up on God. I’ve had many times in my life when I prayed for guidance, for help, and most often, I prayed my gratitude. Often I was blessed without praying for anything other than healing prayers for others. Some difficult situation would arise and as I struggled for a solution, an answer would appear that I never considered.

I truly believe God is in all our lives. Whether we choose to believe in the religion we follow (yes, there are many who go to places of worship for reasons other than faith), explore other belief systems, don’t even think about God or God’s existence, or just don’t believe in a Creator, God is still here. Quiet, observing, not judging us. Judging what can be done to guide us to better lives. God gives us the tools. It’s our responsibility to use them wisely.