Do you know someone who everyone goes to with their problems? Is there a person you know who is always sought out to discuss problems and ask advice of? Are you that person in your circle of family and friends?
I have noticed over the years there are some people, and very few really, who attract others that need advice, help, comfort, or even just reassurance that things are okay. It seems the thing these “helpers” have in common is the ability to listen and intuit exactly what is needed. It isn’t all about hearing what is being said but extends to discerning what isn’t being said. It’s almost as though they have antennae that can pick up signals not knowingly sent. Then they offer comfort, reassurance, advice, and the recipient feels calmer and often reassured enough to make decisions.
I guess the ironic thing about this is these “angels” don’t even realize what they do. It’s as natural to them as breathing. They don’t consciously set out to change the world or make some amazing impact on people. Compassion and empathy are part of their nature as much as the color of their eyes or their gift for music. When I mentioned this amazing “power” to one of these sensitive advisors I was told, “I don’t do anything. I just listen. That’s what I would want if I was in the same situation.” Suggestions, and there are usually more than one or two, are offered quietly. Alternative solutions are delivered in a manner which allows the questioner to make his or her own decision and there are never recriminations if ideas presented are rejected.
Often these listeners are not specifically trained or educated in any field of counseling or therapy but seem to come by the skill naturally. When I suggested to one that he would do well to study one of the mental health fields I was answered with a laugh and the reply, “Oh I could never do anything like that!” Unaware of their special gift they are simply available when approached and seem to shine a light on issues as well as paths to resolving problems. There are no general solutions, identifying names for issues presented, or cookie cutter answers to individual concerns. It’s as though they can see the unique characteristics of every person and respond to that uniqueness.
If you have one of these “angels” in your life you’re lucky. If you are one of these angels, thank you. Of course if you are one you will likely deny it vehemently and say you are just being a good friend, or brush it off as that’s what families do for one another.